I wish my penis had an off switch
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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