therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
