Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
