Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
