Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
