the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
