addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
