People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize