what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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