what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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