Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
