at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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