Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
