for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize