i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize