There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
