He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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