No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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