There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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