DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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