We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
