I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
