In the future we'll all be gay
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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