she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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