You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
