let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
