OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize