He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
