Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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