my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
