my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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