god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
