i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
