also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
