I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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