I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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