I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I want her autograph on my taint
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
