I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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