Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize