He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The best revenge is premature balding
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Randomize
