Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
