I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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