what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
