I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
