i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
