really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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