you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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