someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
