I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
