I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
