now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
