i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
