Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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