Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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