i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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