I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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