i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
no you cant smoke seaweed
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
