One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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