Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
