It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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