Your tits are I can't wait for
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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